Only the Lonely...

I think it's finally hitting me that J is off on his tour. The first few nights it was like "hey, he's out of town". But now it's like "hey, I have to take the garbage out, and do the dishes, and feed the cats...for the next 3 months!"

On the flip side, I'm having fun with my eating options. Now I can buy and make all the things I like that he doesn't. Mac and cheese with peas (so I feel healthy), bologna and cheese sandwiches on white bread (so I don't feel healthy), big salads and big breakfasts. And when I put cheese in the fridge, it stays there till I eat it.

I also felt slightly liberated in leaving a pile of dishes in the sink. For some reason it bugs me when he's around that there are dishes in the sink, mostly cause I can't make the dinner for the next night. But now, since it's just me, I can leave the kitchen as messy as I want. My inner "dorm living" is coming out with a sinkful of dishes, messy coffee table and my paperwork all across the dining room table. I feel a little guilty since I am usually on J's case about picking up after himself, but now I'm channeling his messiness - maybe it's my way of keeping him around.

But I do miss him, even if I'm sleeping better with only the cat to steal the covers. It's a bit lonely, and I'm starting to have conversations with the cats - good thing work is keeping me busy otherwise I might just wallow in my aloneness and begin to think the cats are talking back.

Here's to July!